Married for 15

This sums up our relationship: Magnificently turbulent. It began with much drama and salacious stories from third parties that spawned many a gossip in certain circles. It broke hearts - I regret that it did but I would not change the way things had gone. I've been broken hearted too - too many times, in fact! I'd like to think those times taught me a lesson and hopefully it taught those whose hearts we broke.

After nine months of dating (yes, that was all!), there we were among those we love, making a commitment that probably we didn't quite comprehend at 23. Whispers of "I don't think they will make it." made it's way to my ears. I was approached by friends who meant well to say they felt it was too quick. I look back and understand the concern - I never did feel bitter about that. Perhaps too happy to feel slighted. That's what one hopes from friends, anyway.

You don't let this kind of thing pass up. Friends at 13, remained in contact intermittently for about 7 years, and by some coincidence (or fate, what have you) - we were in the same country again. In Hong Kong, no less. At that point, it was almost like a do or die situation! It's funny and it's not. All I know is that neither one wanted anything to do with anyone else right away. Pronto.

Imagine the usual differences that a man and a woman would bring into a marriage. For us, you have to add the racial and cultural differences. The move to different countries. The typical discrimination I get just by being Filipino and married to an American (my personal GI Joe). Most would look at our family and say "How wonderful and lucky!". Yes...this is true. True because we have made leaps and bounds. We have overcome many hurdles and barriers. We have been up and we have been down. We have shed tears, yelled, screamed, hugged, pushed each other away, held each other tight, remained silent, spoken kindly, spoken harshly, felt guilty, felt remorse, felt intense gratitude, given thanks, given none, cried together at the sound of our first child's heartbeat, cried even harder at the sight of him being born, felt scared together and for each other, and so on and so forth.

We fought our way to here and now. So damn it, we deserve this 15th wedding anniversary. We earned it and we're going to milk it. So to all of you who are married, whose lives seem complicated, whose beginnings were shaky - but have remained fiercely determined to make it work: Good for you.

Good for us.



My dearest Judd... I still love you with every bone in my body. Even though you still spit gum out of the car window while driving.

[Note: This was supposed to have been posted on June 17 but we were travelling =)...]