Remembering Ariana's 4th Birthday Party

In 3 days, Ariana will be having her 5th birthday party. Her birthday isn't until the end of June but with kids leaving for their summer vacation (an annual home leave for most expatriates) soon after school ends on June 4, we had to book her party ahead in order to make sure her friends could attend. She did ask for a BIG party at the American Club for her 5th birthday. After attending many big parties in the last year, it was her one request. I didn't hesitate one bit - I said "Yes!".

Why? Let's see...

When she turned 1 yr old, we were on our way from New Jersey to Singapore - making that big leap to transfer overseas. Right before we left the hotel (house was already packed and empty), my thoughtful girlfriend decided to visit us an hour before we had to leave and brought with her a small cake, some candles, party hats and gifts. It was such a lovely gesture! Two frazzled parents were very grateful!

When she turned 2 yrs old, we used her birthday as a cover up for a baby shower for one of our friends (it was the only day everyone was available!). After all the activities for the shower was done, we managed to bring a cake out, sing Ariana a song, take a couple of pictures...then it was all over. We were all so wiped out by then!

When Ariana turned 3, we invited a couple of families to go swimming down at the pool, have a simple lunch, have the cake and then everyone went home.

So...when she turned 4, MOM went all out. A Martha Stewart-esque party. After collecting ideas for a year from magazines and blogs, this Tea Party had to be memorable. Ready for this?



Three weeks of major preparation, shopping, crafting and decorating went into making the party "perfect". Seven preschoolers, 1 boy & 6 girls, were invited. Favors were simple, handbound drawing pads with covers made of pulp paper, each one with letter beads spelling their names.



Everything had a Japanese theme, the colors were purple and lime green. The favor bags were made of Japanese fabric and apart from the handbound books, I included several other Japanese inspired goodies.



I made paper buntings and decorated white Japanese paper lanterns with butterflies cut from Washi. Judd hung 15 lanterns on the ceiling which gave him a stiff neck all night. I printed out large photos of Ana and a big banner - all for the walls.






The food included Swedish meatballs with gravy, PB&Js cut in round shapes, chocolate covered giant strawberries (first 2 attempts at melting the chocolates failed resulting in siezed-up gunky mess), green peas and green tea caramel corn puffs.




Since parents were going to stay, I made a warm white bean dip with baked wholewheat pita chips and a fruit platter. Served with tea, of course. Activities included face painting, nail polishing, finger painting, make-your-own picture frames, dress up corner, beading, decorate-your-own magnets....ARE YOU EXHAUSTED YET??



Although I hired 2 preteen girls from the building, they were more into themselves than doing what they were assigned to do...and cost me a lot of bucks! The sad part is, after all the hard work....only a few photos of the party were taken...and most of them blurred.

BUT WAIT! As if I wasn't enough of an idiot, I decided to invite a couple more families in the afternoon - my thinking was: Why waste all these decorations? Embarrassingly enough, by 6pm, I was so tired and I thought I was going to faint and puke at the same time. My guests were all sitting around taking care of themselves!

Listen - it wasn't like I didn't enjoy the preparations. In fact, I did! I was so proud (I had to be to stay sane) and Ariana's face lit up when she saw everything I did - that in itself was good enough. What I didn't realize was that all those magazine and blog ideas were great if you had an army of people to do the work. It looked amazingly easy...when it fact, it was amazingly hard. It didn't help that I was combining ideas from so many sources. What I should have done is choose just a few ideas that were manageable but creative and ALWAYS remember to assign someone to take the photos. Judd and I were swamped and we just forgot. We also didn't have any family around - it really was just Judd and I.

Having said all that, I think our little guests enjoyed themselves and I managed to impress a few parents (Ha! So I admit, I was trying to get them to say they LOVE everything I did!).

So...back to saying "Yes!" to Ariana. This meant that I would only be in charge of checking which details I wanted to add to the party from the contract, sending out the invitations care of a website called Pingg.com, putting together the favor bags and getting people to RSVP. There will be about 17-18 kids. So okay, I still went a little berserk on the favor bags but I am a crafter and I needed to craft. Fine, fine, I am ALSO an OC mother! I can't help but be involved in some form or fashion.

On my next post, I will report back with photos on the upcoming party. I can't wait...I already have her outfit matched and ready to wear. ;)

P.S. There were a couple of pictures from the actual party...I will edit this post to include those photos...as soon as this frazzled Mom remembers which external hard drive it's on =).

The Fab Four

Sandalwood Farm, Alabama. June 17, 2009.

My Dad and I

"It's only when you grow up, and step back from him, or leave him for your own career and your own home—it's only then that you can measure his greatness and fully appreciate it. Pride reinforces love." -- Margaret Truman

It is never really right to have a favorite child but there was no denying I felt special in my Dad's eyes. He wasn't home much, always early to work and late to get home. He did, however, take me to his office sometimes to "show" me off. He let me play with his whiteboard markers (magic!) and use up his printer paper. He carried my school pictures in his wallet. He always brought me a small gift from his business travels and I remember when he took me on a "date" at Alba's, a Spanish restaurant, for Beef Salpicao. There were other childhood memories...but apart from that, I was mostly with my Mom. Even then, I adored him.

He was known by everyone in his office because he was always being funny. Very politically incorrect...yet you couldn't help but laugh. He had a reputation for being green (and it has nothing to do with saving the earth). I wanted to be like him. So I mimicked his antics and his jokes. I wanted nothing but to please him so I ended up working for the same company (I quit when he retired!). My Dad may be short but he's a very big man. Pride and work were his treasures and he lived by them...but you know, things don't always turn out the way one hopes. I wish I can tell him that life is too short, that he can wish and pray for things to be different but why waste all that time when you can just be grateful for today. Of course, that's easier said than done since most people are guilty of the same thing. Except...he's not getting any younger and I really want him to savor the remaining years of his life. I want him to give thanks for his loyal and loving wife of almost 50 years, to forgive his children for not fulfilling what they were expected to do, to say "To hell with everyone who's betrayed me!", to LET GO. To free his heart. To feel weightless. Yes, much has happened in the last 10 years and his laughter, I miss.

Maybe he just needs to be reminded that things will be okay, that it's okay to laugh even when your circumstance isn't so funny. Besides, it's not his accomplishments at work that I will remember...it's all the times he cracked me up. So here's to you Dad...laugh like there's no tomorrow - Happy Father's Day Joe Marcos. I love you more now than ever...and I will always remember your "bagoong" joke even after you have forgotten! ;D

Married for 15

This sums up our relationship: Magnificently turbulent. It began with much drama and salacious stories from third parties that spawned many a gossip in certain circles. It broke hearts - I regret that it did but I would not change the way things had gone. I've been broken hearted too - too many times, in fact! I'd like to think those times taught me a lesson and hopefully it taught those whose hearts we broke.

After nine months of dating (yes, that was all!), there we were among those we love, making a commitment that probably we didn't quite comprehend at 23. Whispers of "I don't think they will make it." made it's way to my ears. I was approached by friends who meant well to say they felt it was too quick. I look back and understand the concern - I never did feel bitter about that. Perhaps too happy to feel slighted. That's what one hopes from friends, anyway.

You don't let this kind of thing pass up. Friends at 13, remained in contact intermittently for about 7 years, and by some coincidence (or fate, what have you) - we were in the same country again. In Hong Kong, no less. At that point, it was almost like a do or die situation! It's funny and it's not. All I know is that neither one wanted anything to do with anyone else right away. Pronto.

Imagine the usual differences that a man and a woman would bring into a marriage. For us, you have to add the racial and cultural differences. The move to different countries. The typical discrimination I get just by being Filipino and married to an American (my personal GI Joe). Most would look at our family and say "How wonderful and lucky!". Yes...this is true. True because we have made leaps and bounds. We have overcome many hurdles and barriers. We have been up and we have been down. We have shed tears, yelled, screamed, hugged, pushed each other away, held each other tight, remained silent, spoken kindly, spoken harshly, felt guilty, felt remorse, felt intense gratitude, given thanks, given none, cried together at the sound of our first child's heartbeat, cried even harder at the sight of him being born, felt scared together and for each other, and so on and so forth.

We fought our way to here and now. So damn it, we deserve this 15th wedding anniversary. We earned it and we're going to milk it. So to all of you who are married, whose lives seem complicated, whose beginnings were shaky - but have remained fiercely determined to make it work: Good for you.

Good for us.



My dearest Judd... I still love you with every bone in my body. Even though you still spit gum out of the car window while driving.

[Note: This was supposed to have been posted on June 17 but we were travelling =)...]