Taking it back!

Okay, I will admit to it - logging off from Facebook for as long as I have (4 days!), I felt very detached from the virtual world I created all of a sudden. I also admit that when I was logged on, my family couldn't get through to me.

"Earth to Vina..."
"Mom! Why are you always on the computer??"
"Mom, you never play with me, you're always doing computer..."
"Vina...Vina....hey, Vina!"



Yes, yes...I know. It cannot be a healthy obsession if my own kids feel I have abandoned them for Facebook ("Okay honey, 5 more minutes....you're hungry? Uh Huh, yes, yes, I'll get it....I'll be there for goodness sake!"). Hhhhmmm.....

I've not been particularly religious in the last few years. I am not agnostic, although at times I wonder if I am - I'm still Catholic. Not a practicing Catholic...but I haven't completely abandoned it either. I wanted to do something for Lent that would make me re-commit to my religion...BUT as much as Facebook has taken my time, it's NOT the one thing I should have given up....because certainly, as with anything, moderation is the key.

I know in my heart what I need to work on - which the last few days of being LOGGED OFF has taught me, and only when I let go did I realize what it was that drove me to Facebook in the first place....let's just say that as much as I have revealed myself in this blog...this part, this reason...I need to keep it private. I guess because it's also still vague and complicated. Hard to articulate, so to speak. Heck, I could slip up and YOU will be a witness to it. Bad enough that I am about to say what I am about to say.

I want to log on to FB, I want to know what my friends are up to. I want to hear what's going on, to be involved, even virtually. I can't be obsessed with it for my kids' sake (okay, the husband too) so I have to find some way to do it everyday without IT taking over my life and my time with my family.

Right now, I WANT many things. Talk about WRONG timing. My son told me that during Lent, we should think about what we can give up, what others don't have and be thankful for what we have. It's what he learned last week during his Catechism class.

So...I am having a tantrum. I am being childish. Whatever. Everything I tell my kids not to be, do or say. I am being THAT right now.

I can't take back without offering something in return. In 3 days, I will log on to Facebook again. I will recant the original deal I so boldly placed on the plate. In return, I will work on something more important than my addiction to Facebook - which, to be completely honest, is THE reason why I am addicted in the first place. For every addiction, there is a hidden reason...

I hope I can still keep Facebook in my life and KEEP OUT the reason why it's become an obsession rather than a gift. That's an even taller order.



I hope God will agree. I hope my family will agree.