As The Day Draws to a Close.....Part I

There are two hours left to this day (or night) as I write this. I, honest to God, wasn't really looking forward to having my birthday because too many unsettling thoughts were cramming in my head. What the heck was Oprah talking about anyway when she said how wonderful it was to turn 50? Have you picked up the latest O Magazine?

Top 40 for me is about to happen in 365 days. It's not the physical changes that bother me, though certainly I would prefer less lines and grey hair. It's the idea that my life seems like it's on fast forward all of a sudden. Am I in the "half time" of my life? More than that? Obviously, as I age - my children age too and will not be children for very long. My parents are ageing even faster and may not remain lucid for very long. If there's anything else I want to do with my life, I better get off my butt.



(PANIC....breathe in...breathe out)



Panic aside (oh, sure!)....I'm really just concerned that I'm NOT prepared for the next chapter of my life. My son is nearing the pre-teen years and I don't know if Judd and I have prepared him enough for the world - which can be harsh and cruel. My daughter is so consumed with Hannah Montana and The Cheetah Girls - characters we never see at home and yet she knows about and mimics! I'm worried about my parents who are struggling with their finances because they trusted someone who eventually took advantage of them - and they are already having health problems normally associated with ageing. I will have to deal with all of this - apart from my own issues as a person and as a spouse. Gone are the days when I'm just playing house - and no, I did not mean for that to rhyme.

I have to get a grip on reality and start planning my life before it consumes me. The spur of the moment thing is great only for movies, going out to eat and trips to the park (and other interesting activities, if you know what I mean)- everything else needs careful assessment (even those interesting activities!). This is strictly my opinion as I am sure you have a different take on this. Although I am a slave to my lists, if not for them, I would not get things done. So....it's time to get pen and notebook out once again as the new year approaches. It's been hidden long enough during this holiday - it needs to see the light of day. Yes, I meant for that to rhyme. =)

Luckily, despite all these things I am worried about....Love and Joy won over my day. Next post coming up....